Entry: i'll meet u there...no matter where your life takes u to.. Friday, May 21, 2004



hey guys.. well today was the last day to dress out at P.E... the end is coming closer... we had Math Exams today too.. i think i did pretty good on them... or at least i hope i did... but you know how that goes... lol i dont think i ever get what i want in school. so whats the point in rambeling about it? lol.. i dont think there is one

but anyways... yeah today was pretty depressing... i didnt want to do anything.. because i was so out of it... and then in chorus... they were holding auditions for reflection.. and i was going to try out for that before i found out i was moving... and then now everyone is like.. omg what am i going to do without you????it breaks my heart to see them sad because of me.. its like something i cant even control too.. and they act like i can just tell my mom that i dont wanna move.. and BaM it wont happen.. but its totally not like that.. we have bought the house and everything... its

inevitable now.. nothing we can do...

but w/e i gotta go
   4 comments

Name
March 18, 2005   04:32 PM PST
 
FF
all i can do is cry
May 27, 2004   05:43 PM PDT
 
hey melissa im gonna miss you so much...but dont feel bad!
you were just the greatest and im gonna try not to cry so you dont feel bad...lol i'll just cry when your not around
hey melissa
May 23, 2004   07:39 PM PDT
 
hey melissa....well it totally sucks that ur moving but i kno what it feels like...everyone wanted me to just say that i didnt wanna go and i could like just stay but it dont work like that but oh well...they will understand...but thats not what i wanted to say...not really but umm yea so like...Yesterday I slit my rist…I thought it would be fun
I didn’t think I could bring myself to do it but 1…2…3
And there is was…
Blood oozing out
A small puddle of blood forming on the counter top
I felt sick…I was seeing a color I had never seen before
The last words she said to me pushed them selves into my mind
“ emotions are so confusing “
what was I doing?? Is this what I really wanted??
The puddle of blood growing larger and larger with every passing second
I had three choices …I could just let it bleed until I had no more blood left to bleed
I could squeeze my fore arm and make it bleed even more
Or I could get a tissue and make it stop
I knew what she would want me to do…
I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a tissue…no two
I ran back to my room and wiped up my puddle of blood
I took the other one and wrapped it around my rist and squeezed with all my might
She would be proud of me if she were here and I knew in my heart that I did the right thing. when it finally stopped I fell to my knees and cried… everything she had ever said to me replayed itself in my mind.
Even though she isn’t here will me today she will always be in my memory…I will never forget all the things she has done 4 me….all the amazing times we shared….
4 ever in my memory I say my last good by and cry myself to sleep…
-me
there it is^^^...thats the best i can do and yes i swear that i wrote it...its kinda easy to tell tho cuz itssucks but anyways i guess ill ttul cuz i g2g so bye
Patrick Kyle
May 22, 2004   01:21 AM PDT
 
Melissa....I Love you so very much sweetheart. I I feel that I owe you the sincerest of appologies for some thoughts I have chosen to so ignorantly voice within the past few weeks. I know that the both of us have been under excessive ammounts of stress and you seem to realize that aswell, which is why I know we'll work through all these petty things and make it to where we belong...in eachother's arms for eternity. I couldnt think of anyone else I would rather have call me their boyfriend or I to have as my girlfriend. You make my life have the value it needs for me to get through the day by day. I hope you understand I have not been speaking truth of heart but more of the manipulation of stress on my lately fickle mind...with being a jealous person and always worriend initially that you will one day find better then you assure me you want no one else and as you say have eyes for no one but me yet the stress makes me forget those things and feel those fears all over again. I am working on coping with it better, and once again I am sorry babydoll for the way things have been lately but summer is near and hopefully yet another trip for me to Florida is right around the corner and I will be back in your such homely arms once more.

In love with you and that is one thing NOTHING and NO ONE can ever change!!! MWAH <3<3<3 My star, forever and always is you.

<*3 Patrick Kyle Hennessy

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